Top 10 Signs You Are Reading Too Much Historical Romance

This is not autobiographical.

At all.

Here they are in no particular order:

1. You know what a counterpane is.

2. You know all the titles in the British monarchy’s peerage, in order, and have already decided which one you would be willing to settle for if you were sent back to the early nineteenth century, a fantasy you have at least twice a week.

3. You can match the following places with their functions (men’s club, ride on Rotten Row, marriage mart, horse and carriage mart) in 8 seconds or less, with one hand tied behind your back, drunk:

(a) Tattersall’s

(b) White’s

(c) Almack’s

(d) Hyde Park

4. You are aware that British Imperialism was exploitative, unjust and dehumanizing. You’ve even read Fanon, Narayan, and Coetzee. But still, somewhere in the dark recesses of your heart, you have found yourself with your hero and heroine in some place like India or the West Indies thinking, “Good times, man. Good times.”

5. You are better able to explain the difference between a landau, phaeton, curricle, and brougham than that between a Grand Caravan, Sienna, Town & Country and Odyssey.

6. You have found yourself asking your husband if he’s seen your reticule around anywhere.

7. You know what “house party” means, and you cannot wait!

8. You know the difference between a rogue and a rake and you are not afraid to argue about it until the wee hours of the morning with people on the internet whom you do not know.

9. You are pretty sure there were, in fact, other countries in Europe besides Great Britain in the nineteenth century, but you can only think of one: France.

10. Your traveling partner cannot figure out why you insist on putting Gretna Green on the itinerary of your upcoming Europe trip, and you know that a plaintive, “But that’s where Evie and Sebastian got married!” will not win the day.

Published in: on August 25, 2008 at 7:30 am  Comments (18)  
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18 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Oh. Crap. I have been reading too much historical romance.

    This was hilarious LOL. and so so true. I also say “wanton” and “hellion” all the time now.

    would you believe me if I told you I have been to Gretna Green and I have done the fake wedding ceremony they have with the anvil and everything??? LOL. Yeah, that’s me.

  2. and forgot to say: you changed your format! for a minute there I thought I was in the wrong place! LOL

  3. I’ve read quite a lot of historical romances, but even so I think only 3 is really true for me. Clearly this means that I should celebrate by spending several days doing nothing but reading historicals ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Laura, you’ve obviously more self control than most of us. As for you, Ana, I prescribe a strong dose of paranormals, stat!

    About the format: I figure as long as its just the three of us reading this for now, it’s safe to experiment. Sorry for any confusion!

  5. I do read a lot of paranormals as well, probably enough to agree with another “10 signs” post LOL.

  6. Laura, youโ€™ve obviously more self control than most of us.

    I doubt it. It’s probably just that I lack the sort of imagination you have. I never visualise any of the places or characters, and I don’t imagine myself taking the place of a heroine, so that eliminates quite a lot of the items on your list.

  7. 6. You have found yourself asking your husband if heโ€™s seen your reticule around anywhere.

    Is it bad if your 5-year-old asks you where her reticule is?

  8. You’re not only guilty. You’re corrupting the youth!

    Thank you for visiting!

  9. I’m clearly not reading enough historical romance…. the only one I “got” was #9. ;o)

    Love the new layout, by the way.

  10. Thanks, Christine! Be glad you have dodged the historical romance bullet. It’s a mortal wound.

  11. Jessica, I’m trying on all the romance blogs for size. I’ll return the ones I can’t fit into later, but I think I’ll keep this one. It looks pretty on my feed reader. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  12. Could we add that you might have a serious historical romance problem if you’ve learned more about agricultural land management in the Regency period than you know about that same topic in 2008? On second thought, maybe you just need to start another list.

  13. Judybelle, all you need to know about agricultural land management in 2008 is “ConAgra.”

  14. Judybelle — I had a hard time keeping it to 10, honestly. That’s a good addition.

    Mojo — too true, unfortunately.

    Thanks for visiting!

  15. Oops! Defintely reading too many historical romances. Is there a cure?

  16. You need to go cold turkey – read only romantic suspense (preferably Linda Howard) or paranormal (preferably a series involving alpha male gangs) for at least two weeks, and then gradually reintroduce historicals, beginning with wallpaper versions until you can handle hard core, but only in manageable doses!

  17. Fun list ๐Ÿ˜€
    1, 3, 9, and 10 for me – not reading enough, then.

  18. 10 out of 10 for me.

    Sadly, I’m rather proud of it. ๐Ÿ™‚

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